It has been a long time under my deep heart...

Today, my friend ah Jen called me. And we chat for almost 1 hours...

In this 1 hours, I have show her some of myself, the truth of me, and I cried.

Well, from the conversation, I realize that there is something of me which I didn't know. Kind of weird?? I always get to know more about myself from the conversation between me and my friends.

Ever since I enter college, I have protect myself with a barier. I don't show the true personality to my college friends, and this remain until now. So, why I don't really feel the true happiness in my college life, I think it is because of this reason.

And why is the barier couldn't be broken down? I guess it is because of what had happen to me before I entering the college. I scare to be hurt by the new friends I will be meeting.

Jen told me, actually there is a lot people who cares of me, just that I don't realize as I keep myself in the barier.

Yes, I agree with it. I can't feel they really use their heart and treat me, because I have keep my heart away from them... I'm sorry, I hope I don't, but I just don't know the way to do so. But atleast she have make me to realize I can't stay in this anymore, which I have to get away to release myself.

This is what Jen told me: "When you are running, you might fell down, but you have to stand up and continue the journey, if not you will be staying at the same spot forever, look forward and don't look back."

It is so true, Thx for waking me up... I will try to do it, just give me some time.. ;)