Wednesday, April 22, 2009

我们的心声。。。(Grab from Emily, HueiYee)

其实很多男孩子都不知道,女孩子在冲他们发火后自己转过身却在不断啜泣。

其实很多男孩子都不知道,女孩子从来不会真正去生他们的气,因为她是真的喜欢他在乎他。

其实很多男孩子都不知道,女孩子只会对自己喜欢的男生唠唠叨叨,也只会对自己喜欢的人耍性子。

你要知道,假若她不喜欢你,她根本不会来在乎你关心你,怕你做错事情。

你要知道,假若她不喜欢你,她根本不会对你发火不会冲你撒娇让你哄她,
在别人面前她都是淑女。

你要知道,假若她不喜欢你,你根本就没有本事让她哭泣,让她即使生气也不会超2天。

而这一切都只是因为她喜欢你,而这一切都因为你还不够在意她不够懂她。

于是,你们时常争吵,你认为她脾气不好,她认为你不够迁就她。

于是,你们总是冷战,你以为她不喜欢你,她以为你不在乎她。

于是,你们总是莫名其妙的彼此错过,也许擦身而过,本身是一种悲伤着的无奈与幸福。

要知道,凄美依然是美的一种,并且美的绚丽悲凉而 凄桑,那是更加的美。

因为她喜欢你,所以她偶尔冲你发火,时常对你撒娇。

因为她喜欢你,所以她才会生你的气;而又因为喜欢你,她才不会去气很久。

你可知道,每个女孩子的心都是水晶做的,晶莹剔透,但是很容 就碰伤摔碎。

你可知道,每个女孩子都是不设防的,你那么轻易就闯进她的心走的时候却只留下伤害。

她从来都不知道,这个世界上根本没有可以让她哭的 ,因为真正值得她哭的那个根本舍不得让她哭。

她会很矜持,她会很骄傲,她会很冷淡,她总是嘴里 着你走开,心里却一直叫你留下。

请你张开你的耳朵,也请你打开你的心,去听她心里 正的呼唤,而不是她嘴里的口是心非。

她会看着你转身,然后她跟着你转身,当侧身而过的 时候,你看不见她的泪,滂沱在脸上心里。

如果你喜欢她,请你多陪她,如果你喜欢她,请你多宠她,如果你喜欢她,请你多让她。

如果你喜欢她,请你去听听她内心的声音,那是呐喊请拥抱她。

在爱情里,总是彼此伤害,彷佛这样才能证明自己爱 激烈爱到轰轰烈烈。

可是,爱情里没有孰对孰错,爱情里更加没有你比我多我比你少。

你爱她,她爱你,如此就已经足够。

不要试图让彼此 伤害,让彼此更加脆弱悲伤。

你们彼此相爱,你们需要的是温暖是幸福是甜蜜是快 ,不是伤害。

不要用沉默宣战,不要互不相让,更不要什么话都不就冷漠离去。

要知道,你离去的时候,你的眼睛起了雾,她的眼角闪着泪光。

越是安静战火就越传,这是冷战也是彼此的伤害——论是怎么的复合,那些伤口曾经存在,抹不去的。

请跟她一个拥抱,用你的拥抱去化解她心里的悲伤与 眼角的泪水。

她喜欢你,她绝对不会拒绝你的拥抱,她只会害怕你 冷漠转身无声安静。

请记住,相爱的人不要轻易宣战,因为冷战带来的伤 ,超出你的预计。

也请记住,只要你喜欢她,没有什么是你接受不了的 只要你喜欢她,就喜欢她的一切一切。

那么她所有的小性子所有的坏脾气所有的臭毛病,在她眼里都是撒娇。

也请记住,她喜欢你,她需要的不是你真的转身,她嘴里说着的也不是她的真心话。
她只是想你宠她,想你抱她,哪怕,没有道歉。


我很赞成哦。女生就是这样了,不了解的男生,明白了吗?
希望你们会更了解自己心爱的人,但愿大家能够幸福快乐!
:)

Human are selfish

Do you agree with that?

I always think, why those people can act without thinking others feeling?

But even myself sometimes did that.

And now think back, I will feel quite guilty.

Sometimes I just couldn't control my emotional action, is like too "chong dong" in mandrain.

I trying to correct it, and for being not selfish to my friends.

And, learn do not think what they can give to me or do something for me.

Well, the question is "why should they?"

Monday, April 13, 2009

I am soon, getting happier.

In this few days, I am getting much more better, I believe I get to recover soon. Can't wait for the day! xD

You might think why? What make me change in a sudden?

All of this is because of my friends lar!

They make me know that I still have them. Their concern make me really appreciate it! Thx!

And I believe there will always be a better one appear in my life, this is what she told me. She make me believe it. :) Thanks girl.

Some how, now I really found it is quite fun to be with my college friends, is just whether you really put your heart to feel them. In mandrain means “将心比心”. Thx for bringing happiness to me. Some of your words, even though it is just a simple words, but it mean a lot to me. :)

Another thing makes me feel happy today, that is, I get back my KELISA! Owh, it has been few weeks never see you, do you know ho much I miss you?? =3= I hope you will never get hurt anymore, same as me too.

Love you, my Kelisa, 9745. (;

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Dreams

Yesterday night I dream of XXX.

I think I cried at first, but I smile after that. (is my real personality in the true life too xp)

first part of the dream I was so suffered, but in the second part I was full of happiness.

Wanna know what I dream about? SECRET. xD

Well, when I wake up, I realize it is just a dream.

Even though it was just a dream, but, I still glad for it, because I can feel the happiness. It stay long until I wake up. What a wonderful world? haha xD

Dreams, even though it is not true, but it does give me some hope sometimes. Even though I know it will never become true, but, I just get some console from it.

I like to dreams, since I was young, I dream almost for everyday.

For me, dreaming is just like watching movie, but you yourself involve in it. You can feel the movie, feel the happiness, sadness, excitement and etc. It is even more syok than you watch movie at cinema. Haha. That's my opinion.

Some how, I hope I dream the dream again, for the following part, to know what is the ending.

But, 99% is impossible lo.

However, the dreams today really make me cheer. Thanks god! :)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

给你的一封信

致,我爱的你


坦白地说, 我还很爱你. 所以那天我不知哪来的勇气, 也许是我冲动的个性,问了你 "你还爱我吗?"


我一直以为, 一年多的感情, 不会说没有就真的没有了, 所以听到了你给我的答案, 我的心, 好像被那个字插入, 碎了, 我真的这样觉得. 眼泪流了出来.

然后你再加上一句 "做朋友比较好", 我伤上加伤.

我才发现, 一切都不是我想的那样的, 你已经不爱我了, 我已经完完全全失去你了.

过几天, 我在车站遇见你们, 你只用了那冷冷的口气对我说了那句话. 就好像不想理会我的存在, 我真的好伤心哦.

过后的那几天, 应该有三个星期吧, 我都很绝望很伤心.

星期六我遇到车祸, 你都没问候我, 我真得很绝望, 再msn对你说,“我有时真的很恨你,我们说好了可以作好朋友的,但我对你说连朋友都不是吧?”你只是用了标点符号回我,难道就不能写句话吗?然后我也没等,就下线了,我想你也不会说什么吧?只当我在发脾气?

我觉得,为什么你会那么的残酷?为什么要对我那么的残忍?为什么你对其他人可以交谈自如, 对我却如此? 为什么你再msn可以主动找别人交谈,却不找我?

我在那时原谅了HX, 因为,要是我那么地对他,这对你对我也没分别,我想,也许他是真心要跟我做朋友的。。。

自从那次我再也没找你,其实我知道你在为前的事情烦恼,自己也不想为你带来根多的烦恼。

我试着把这些情绪都收在心里,但我越来越伤心。

我问了我一些男性朋友,为什么男生可以那么快把一个女生忘记?他们都回答我,是不是喜欢了另一个?起初我认为你是不会的,但后来我质疑自己了,毕竟什么事都不是我的预料之中。其实我时常在想,要是你下次真的和另一个女生在一起,我一定会接受不了的。现在却带来了这个可能性。

我常常独自不自觉地流眼泪,无时无刻都在想。我也很希望自己不去想,但我控制不了自己啊。

我只能说, 这次我失控了。

我控制不了自己的情绪,我读不了书,我把朋友劝我的话听不进去,我专心不了,我睡不着,我想不开无论我怎么试。

这次是比之前来的严重了. 除了哭, 我不知道自己能做什么,让自己好过一点.

迈入了四月, 我第一件事想的, 就是你的生日.

心想, 今年你的生日, 我已不在了, 不在和你庆祝. 好怀念以前啊.

那晚, 我发了简讯给你, 祝你生日快乐, 每一个字, 都好难写. 我想, 有好多人祝贺你吧? 我不算什么吧?

果然啊,我还记得你曾经说班上有两个女生和你同一天生日,果然又把照片 upload 上网。我真的很嫉妒,但也不能说什么,我清楚自己的资格到哪里。我没资格。

我决定了,短期之内都不上friendster了。因为,我害怕看到那些你发送给别人的comment. 还有那些照片。好多好多关于你的东西,像是下了咒,令我感到伤心。

我不敢见到你,我怕我会哭泣,我会伤心,想起那些事。我也不懂怎么去面对你。我害怕你会对我冷漠。我真的很怕。

你知道我的痛苦吗?当你快乐的与朋友玩闹,也许我在哭泣啊。我觉得好不公平,为什么老天都没眷顾到我?

我好想离开这里,有我们回忆的地方,到遥远的地方,我会平静些吧。

但,不知道怎么了。从昨天开始,哭了一场后,我在msn与朋友交谈,我放开了。我也不知道是怎么的,哪里想开了。

我慢慢的学会不去想了,我慢慢的不讨厌你,我慢慢的没那么伤心。

我不知道可以维持多久,但我仁然不敢见到你,害怕知道你的消息,我怕我会像之前那么的痛苦。

我希望有一天,我可以放下,我仁希望我能成为你的好朋友啊。





春媚上。





Monday, April 6, 2009

Back to Home

It is really quite relaxing when I stay at Kampar, forget all the unhappy things happen here.

But, this stay for temporary only, until I come back to PJ, everything appear in my mind again. Why I just couldn't escape from this?!

Yesterday night I couldn't sleep, and I realize it is 4.00a.m., but my mind is still thinking all the rubbish!

And I wake up, online for a while... I questioning myself, why I am so stubborn, poeple already living happily, why I am still thinking of the past.

I hate myself seriously.

This time is so different compared to last time, I cant concentrate in my studies...

I am so lost control to myself... But yet, I have to control myself for taking care others feeling? I can't write what ever I want to write here, the only place I could write down my true feeling...

I really hope to go to a far far place, away from here, which have so many memories...

Anywhere, but not here...

Back To Hometown - Kampar

Last Saturday and Sunday My family back to hometown for Qing Ming laa~

We should be leaving at 8a.m., but then because everyone can't wake up and at last we leave at 10a.m. =.=

And guess what, everyone on the car forgot to check the sign board, instead of going to kampar, we went to Ipoh... And then everyone on the car blaming each other lo, whose fault? xp

Finally we reach kampar at around 3p.m, don't be too shock why we take a long time, because we went to hang gai gai at Ipoh mah, don't waste the petrol lo. ^^

The first place we went when we reach Kampar is the Mee store. I think this store is there for more than 10 years lo... And the poh poh also quite old dy, but she still cook and able to scold people in a bright tone xD

Maybe you will think that place is so "ciplak", but usually the "ciplak" place sell nice food. ^_^

Tell you ah, you might feel unbelievable that you still have to Q up for the mee le! xp

(Too bad I forgot to took picture of it. But I did took picture of the food~ )


After that we went to eat ice kacang which is just locate at the next road to the mee store. This ice kacang also have for quite many years loo. ^_^

(This time I forgot to took the picture of the ice kacang, But I took picture of the "zhao Pai")


After have our "lunch", we went to our cousin's shop, go have a look at the new build Tesco at Kampar and then go for dinner at "家好月圆". (same name as the TV drama!) xD

Actually we plan to go yam char at the place near by Utar, but then we are too tired to go, so everyone sleep quite early that night~

The next day, we start to climb mountain lo, instead of “扫墓”,my cousin say it as trip to climb mountain. xD

People are busying to pray while me and my cousin sister having our own sweet time to chit chat~ xD

It is really tiring for me which did not do exercise lately... What I have to say is "I really get older" T_T

My “姐夫”, trying to sit properly in the Van. xD

My face looks so pale and force to smile infront of the camera.

After everything, we have our lunch, back to my cousin house to sleep for awhile, and its time for us to come back.

see the view is quite nice, so I took the picture - on the way back

I saw quite many accident when we are coming back, so advice to my friends, don't drive too fast, especially when it is raining, drive slow better than it is too late to regret.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

My Mind

Really feel so upset and confusing nowadays.

So many things just fly across my mind.

Seriously I do not feel happy.

I try to smile, but it seems so hard for me...

I am sorry if I terleft my anger on my friends, if I did...

Just that I really feel tired in my mind.

Sometimes I really feel I can rest in peace...

I really tired...

So hard to live at this world, so hard to make decision, so hard to take action.

Eventhough you have make the decision, but so hard for you to do it... its so confusing.

我好矛盾哦。我会失去自己吗?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

My thought in the April 09

Steping into the april of the year... Time fly~

1/4 april fool. Have you been fool by your friends?

Me and my classmate have been fool by our tutorial teacher, Miss Chitra.

She tell us that most of us fail our mid-term in a serious way.

She is really cute laa, nice turorial teacher we have. haha.

She is quite different compared with the first time we meet her, and now she start to joke with us~ xp

Everyone seems different when times goes on, when we know each other for more.

Some turns good and some turns bad too. Some how, I wish I could go back to the old days, the girls with no worries...

Friends. no matter how we turn on in the future, I still hope you all will be fine, good luck in everthing, enjoy your life...

I will miss you guys... you...

Random

- write letters
- ride bicycle
- play basketball
- shopping
- birthday celebration
- 14/2
- christmas countdown
- new year countdown
- have dinner with family
- surprise
- K.H
- travel
- movie
- exam
- study
- cook
- feed me
- frustrated