It has been a long time under my deep heart...

Today, my friend ah Jen called me. And we chat for almost 1 hours...

In this 1 hours, I have show her some of myself, the truth of me, and I cried.

Well, from the conversation, I realize that there is something of me which I didn't know. Kind of weird?? I always get to know more about myself from the conversation between me and my friends.

Ever since I enter college, I have protect myself with a barier. I don't show the true personality to my college friends, and this remain until now. So, why I don't really feel the true happiness in my college life, I think it is because of this reason.

And why is the barier couldn't be broken down? I guess it is because of what had happen to me before I entering the college. I scare to be hurt by the new friends I will be meeting.

Jen told me, actually there is a lot people who cares of me, just that I don't realize as I keep myself in the barier.

Yes, I agree with it. I can't feel they really use their heart and treat me, because I have keep my heart away from them... I'm sorry, I hope I don't, but I just don't know the way to do so. But atleast she have make me to realize I can't stay in this anymore, which I have to get away to release myself.

This is what Jen told me: "When you are running, you might fell down, but you have to stand up and continue the journey, if not you will be staying at the same spot forever, look forward and don't look back."

It is so true, Thx for waking me up... I will try to do it, just give me some time.. ;)

~Driving~

Finally, I get to drive alone, without parent's guidance. ^^

Haha, don't ever think that I really good in driving, actually my skills still... umm.. need more practice la! xD Especially PARKING!! WALAU! really don't know how to control the car la.. Aiyo.. so x qualified! xp

This few days also get to drive le, quite happy la... enjoy driving.. But I know after long time I sure lazy to drive la.

God, I pray to u, hope I wont involve in any accidents la. AMEN~ ^^

Our Story, 我们的故事。

坏消息啊，我和国梁暂时分开了。

自从开学了以后，我们的感情渐渐的出现了问题，这问题一直都没被解决，直到现在，这些问题都解决不了，导致小问题演变成了大问题。

这两个月里，我都独自一个人伤心，我再也不想告诉他我的心情了。他，对我也越来越冷淡了。说话的口气显得不耐烦，有时还给我一些脸色。我问自己，为什么事情会到这种地步呢？是我自己造成的吗？ 也许是吧。

我是个爱胡思乱想的人，什么都像一通，由东想到西，也许他就是受不了吧。我想，他跟朋友相处还自然过和我相处吧。他宁可把时间分给朋友及家人，都不给我，是因为跟我一起是在浪费时间吗？我跟他一个星期也难见上几次面，见面的都是在LRT上。我们都很少去拍拖了。一直以来，多数都是我提议要出去的，而他呢，提出的都是要跟朋友出去玩。他跟朋友说话总是有说有笑，而我呢？却一幅不耐烦的样子。而说出来的话，差不多都刺得我好伤哦，我已经好久没看到他微笑对我说话了。做一个女朋友做到这样还真是悲哀啊。

我们再也不是昔日的我们了。他现在对我所作的，我已感受不到了。也许，那份感情已经变成了责任吧，他对我做的只是一个男朋友对一个女朋友的责任而已，好勉强的感觉。

当我每次告诉他时，他总说我把事情复杂化，想太多，他不想谈这些事。看来他时不想经营我们的感情了吧。我一个人，怎能撑得住呢？？感情是要靠双方面努力经营的啊。但他却不这么认为吧，他只觉得我很烦而已啊。

现在的我，已经伤痕累累了，身心疲惫了。我真得越来越没安全感了，知道随时会失去他吧，因为作情侣做到这种地步，问题再不解决，都没意思了。

因此，我提出了暂时分开，希望大家在这期间能够好好地向是否要继续下去。希望他能认真地想吧。这可是最后一次机会了。本来我还想在考试过后才提出的，但我实在是忍无可忍了，我在忍下去恐怕会崩溃吧！而他呢？语气还是那么的冷酷，“随便你吧”。。。

那晚，我的眼泪又不受控制地流了下来。。。

Say Bye, School Life

It has been a long time I didn't write blog here.

The time of 6 months i think.

A lot of things have happend this few months, makes me growth up a lot.

After SPM, I , han gua and our friends, we went to genting together, That is really really fun, and this is the first trip i go over night with friends, I having the good memory over there, it is really great!

After have fun, i work back at the same shop, Purple Cat... There were too many unhappy happen when i work there. Well, I did meet some new friends too, they are ah ying and charlotte. Knowing them are the only happy thing when i work at Purple Cat. At last, I really can't stand for it, and i decided to work at another place, Melody.

Working at Melody have turn my life to a better life. I really enjoy working at there. Always having fun, work happily, and i still always get to see my friends. I never regret that i change my work place, and really feel thankful to the friends that recognize me to work there and my Bos - Shirley.

However, I have stop my work on the month of May, cause I wanna have some times for me to rest before go to college. Well, I have decided to study at TARC, in the course of Broadcast Communication.

Now, of cause i already started my college life. However, I still havent get use to it, still can't adapt well, I always miss those school days so much. I understand that we must always look forward, we are going to a different stage of life, soonly I will get use to it. Hello! accept the facts la! haha.

Even though life is hard to go through, but I glad that I not alone, there is always friends accompanying me to go through this, they have gave the s lot of support. And of cause my hangua too... Just want to say "thank you" to all of them. =)

致：梁

致：梁

不知不觉，下个星期就是大考了！
我啊，今天又发小脾气了，也不知为什么会那样。

对不起，梁，我不知为什么会那样咧。
因为我担心你会不高兴，没心情读书呢！还是我自己想多了呢？

嘻嘻，其实我想了想，你真是最适合我不过了，最符合我所要的。。
喂，看到那句别那么高兴呢！呵呵。。

那句：“你在我心目中是最好的了！爱你哟！”是我此刻最想对你说的了~
梁，祝你考试能好好作答，保持最好的状态哦。

大考后我们便可以大玩一翻了！

媚上。