Awh, I have bad dream today, dream until I cry like hell. I dream of him have crush with another girl, the first dream is my friend and the second time is his classmate. In the dream, he shows that he don't care of me even though I'm crying sadly. Well, in real life he probably will do so, I guess he get annoyed with me. :'( So, this is the second time I dream of this, is that means this will really happen on me? If I really meet this situation in my life, I will really feel want to die.. Haiz, Guy is like that ahh, when the relationship just get start, they treat you like gold, but when times go on, they treat you like... Grass??? Maybe I just haven't meet the real guy?? So I shouldn't judge everyone in this way. But, the failure in relationship really makes me feel lack of confidence. It is so hard for me to stand up after I fell, however, I know have to do so. Today I sits for Electronic Media exam, it is so hard! There is section a, b, c and d. Guess what, we have to write 2 script and complete others essay in 2 hours! It's really a challenge for me! I was rushing all the time to complete it, the every second is so important for me that time, like puting a bomb beside me. Guess what, the electric suddenly gone when we doing the paper half way! Can you imagine when the electric is gone in a college hall, luckily there is lightcome in when the door is open. This have make me feel really "surprising". Now, I just hope I can pass my exam, If I fail then need to re-sit exam, then need to pay another RM80! (Bankrap le) :'''(
Today, my friend ah Jen called me. And we chat for almost 1 hours...
In this 1 hours, I have show her some of myself, the truth of me, and I cried.
Well, from the conversation, I realize that there is something of me which I didn't know. Kind of weird?? I always get to know more about myself from the conversation between me and my friends.
Ever since I enter college, I have protect myself with a barier. I don't show the true personality to my college friends, and this remain until now. So, why I don't really feel the true happiness in my college life, I think it is because of this reason.
And why is the barier couldn't be broken down? I guess it is because of what had happen to me before I entering the college. I scare to be hurt by the new friends I will be meeting.
Jen told me, actually there is a lot people who cares of me, just that I don't realize as I keep myself in the barier.
Yes, I agree with it. I can't feel they really use their heart and treat me, because I have keep my heart away from them... I'm sorry, I hope I don't, but I just don't know the way to do so. But atleast she have make me to realize I can't stay in this anymore, which I have to get away to release myself.
This is what Jen told me: "When you are running, you might fell down, but you have to stand up and continue the journey, if not you will be staying at the same spot forever, look forward and don't look back."
It is so true, Thx for waking me up... I will try to do it, just give me some time.. ;)
Finally, I get to drive alone, without parent's guidance. ^^
Haha, don't ever think that I really good in driving, actually my skills still... umm.. need more practice la! xD Especially PARKING!! WALAU! really don't know how to control the car la.. Aiyo.. so x qualified! xp
This few days also get to drive le, quite happy la... enjoy driving.. But I know after long time I sure lazy to drive la.
God, I pray to u, hope I wont involve in any accidents la. AMEN~ ^^
I am the one who trying to be happy for every day, hoping that I can face the challenges toughly and with positive mind. I believe that there will always be sunshine after heavy rain. stayHAPPY! ^^
